State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity – A Book For Anyone Who Has Ever Loved

Esther Perel


There is one simple act of transgression that can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity: an affair. Yet this extremely common act is poorly understood. In her book Esther Perel provides the insight we so desperately need to help us understand why we have affairs, and what they really mean. Perel does not take cheating lightly, rather her practice (where she exclusively sees patients dealing with infidelity) has taught her just how much pain this act can cause and, as a result, just how inadequate is our current conversation. Perel pushes us to engage in a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about infidelity and all the issues that come along with it.

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SKU: 9781473673557 Category: Tags: ,



Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Why do people cheat? Can an affair ever help a marriage?

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected – an expression of longing and loss.

A must-read for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.

‘Esther Perel does nothing short of strip us of our deepest biases, remind us of our purpose in connecting as lovers, and save relationships that might otherwise sink into the sea-all with even-handed wisdom, fresh morality, and wise prose. Thank heavens for this woman.’ – Lena Dunham

‘Beautiful. A brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding, and – as always – kindness.’ – Alain de Botton

‘She’s the guru on relationships… she’s the first person I ask for advice’ – Cara Delevingne

‘Wisest sex therapist we ever did meet. Her new book, THE STATE OF AFFAIRS, proposes a new perspective on infidelity’ – GRAZIA

‘This is a must-have for all married couples and has completely changed my thinking.’ – SUNDAY TIMES STYLE

Additional information

Weight 0.24 kg
Dimensions 19.6 × 12.8 × 3 cm